"He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep." Psalm 121:3-4
...Weary
Numerous times I have planned to sit down and write this entry, and just as many times it has been postponed. The electricity shut down and computer batteries were low, so we save for class preparation. Time ran out at the end of a busy day; I'm just too tired to accomplish one more task. We travelled to missionary retreat and spent time with our colleagues returning with more questions than answers about our future. We enjoyed the black silky sand and the pounding waves of the Atlantic on the Cameroon coast. We have now been completely without running water for two weeks straight, which just adds extra work each day: heating water for bucket baths, filling buckets from the gutter run-off in the rain, washing clothes by hand instead of in the machine. Daily, we hear of another tragic death, a widow in dire straights, or an abandoned orphan. I fall into bed each night exhausted, physically and emotionally. And I am thankful for the gift of sleep.
...Dependent
What a lavishly generous gift! Sleep. My strength is restored. My mind is renewed. My spirit awakes refreshed and ready to see God's faithfulness in the new day. In the book "Humility: True Greatness" C.J. Mahaney writes, "The fact is, God could have created us without a need to sleep. But He chose to build this need within us....Each night, as I confront my need again for sleep, I'm reminded that I'm a dependent creature. I am not self-sufficient. I am not the Creator. There is only One who 'will neither slumber nor sleep' and I am not that One."
...Resting
As I continue to say "yes" to God and the lifestyle He has chosen for me to lead this year, I am grateful that He knows better than I how fragile I am. "For He knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust." (Psalm 103:14) He knows I can't handle it. He knows how tired I get. He knows that my emotions become worn each time I face a new impossible situation. He knows all about me. And he lets me sleep. He lets my body rest while He holds the world in His hands. He doesn't need me to sustain anything. He doesn't need my input. He can handle it. He knows all about that widow and that orphan. He knows about my children and their educational needs. He knows about the students in Brian's classes. He knows about the church in Cameroon. He knows about my sister and brother-in-law who are looking for work. He knows about my mom and the eye surgery she faces. He knows all those people about whom I worry. He knows who I am and where I am and He hasn't forgotten me. He knows the past and the future. Isn't it wonderful to lay down and put it all back into His capable hands, aware that He does not slumber. Isn't it good to accept His gracious gift and sleep!
...Weary
Numerous times I have planned to sit down and write this entry, and just as many times it has been postponed. The electricity shut down and computer batteries were low, so we save for class preparation. Time ran out at the end of a busy day; I'm just too tired to accomplish one more task. We travelled to missionary retreat and spent time with our colleagues returning with more questions than answers about our future. We enjoyed the black silky sand and the pounding waves of the Atlantic on the Cameroon coast. We have now been completely without running water for two weeks straight, which just adds extra work each day: heating water for bucket baths, filling buckets from the gutter run-off in the rain, washing clothes by hand instead of in the machine. Daily, we hear of another tragic death, a widow in dire straights, or an abandoned orphan. I fall into bed each night exhausted, physically and emotionally. And I am thankful for the gift of sleep.
...Dependent
What a lavishly generous gift! Sleep. My strength is restored. My mind is renewed. My spirit awakes refreshed and ready to see God's faithfulness in the new day. In the book "Humility: True Greatness" C.J. Mahaney writes, "The fact is, God could have created us without a need to sleep. But He chose to build this need within us....Each night, as I confront my need again for sleep, I'm reminded that I'm a dependent creature. I am not self-sufficient. I am not the Creator. There is only One who 'will neither slumber nor sleep' and I am not that One."
...Resting
As I continue to say "yes" to God and the lifestyle He has chosen for me to lead this year, I am grateful that He knows better than I how fragile I am. "For He knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust." (Psalm 103:14) He knows I can't handle it. He knows how tired I get. He knows that my emotions become worn each time I face a new impossible situation. He knows all about me. And he lets me sleep. He lets my body rest while He holds the world in His hands. He doesn't need me to sustain anything. He doesn't need my input. He can handle it. He knows all about that widow and that orphan. He knows about my children and their educational needs. He knows about the students in Brian's classes. He knows about the church in Cameroon. He knows about my sister and brother-in-law who are looking for work. He knows about my mom and the eye surgery she faces. He knows all those people about whom I worry. He knows who I am and where I am and He hasn't forgotten me. He knows the past and the future. Isn't it wonderful to lay down and put it all back into His capable hands, aware that He does not slumber. Isn't it good to accept His gracious gift and sleep!
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